They were my friends...

I've learned that in a healthy relationship there will be a mutual sharing of ideas and possibilities. No one person will be considered right all of the time, but both individuals will be considered to be a vital part of the other's life.

As I look back on my friendships, in particular with males, I have an appreciation for the ones who offered their take on things while also valuing my own opinion. They were firm in their convictions, and perhaps stubborn at times, but not unyielding to new insights or ideas. If they ever saw an area in my life that could be changed, they were both honest and fair in their reasoning, and so I was not so easily offended by their feedback. They also listened to me if I ever shared a valid concern, and would often make a point to make amends as was necessary.

They did not consider themselves to be infallible but at the same time were confident in their abilities and in who they were. Nor did they expect me to be perfect. In fact, they tended to look for the good in me, as I hope that I always did with them.


Why did I not end up marrying these men, and becoming a permanent part of their lives? It seems in each of my relationships, timing seems to have been a key factor. In two situations I was too young to consider marriage, though we were close in the relationship that we shared. In another our values were not completely in sync, and I knew that there must be a season of growing and learning for the both of us.


I will say that with each of them, they will always hold a special place in my heart. With each one I felt valued, respected, considered and cared for. They never raised their voice in an effort to intimidate me, nor did they ever touch me in a hurtful way. It wasn't that I never witnessed anger or frustration, or that I did not do the same. I mean that they never used their feelings as an excuse to hurt or punish me. There was never any form of manipulation or control, or suggestions that they were somehow superior to me.



I have loved each one of them as friends, and I am sure that I always will.



I fully expect that the next man I become close to will be like them. I would never settle for anything less.